


Water of the Womb

by somnimouse



Series: Family Lost-and-Found [2]
Category: No Thank You!!! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abandonment, Family Issues, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somnimouse/pseuds/somnimouse
Summary: Months after she's adopted by Ryu, Yufumi encounters her mother again in the winter.
Relationships: Haru/Kurosawa Ryu
Series: Family Lost-and-Found [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001553
Kudos: 17





	Water of the Womb

**Author's Note:**

> There are descriptions of physical and emotional child abuse in this fic, both past and present. Please take care while reading.

Haru likes the summer. Yufumi remembers that. She also remembers being carried in his arms one evening when the streets of Ikebukuro were dyed orange in the setting sun, and the sound of his humming soothing the pain her mother’s resentment had inflicted. He smelled kind of sweaty back then, but Yufumi didn’t mind. She still wouldn’t. She liked the warmth of Haru’s hugs and his love and how they made her feel safe. Her mother never held her like that, not even once. She knows why now, and thinking about it makes her eyes sting. She still wants to wait. Maybe, in a few years, her mom will miss her and love her again. Maybe she’ll meet Ryu and Haru and see how well they’ve taken care of her daughter. 

Would Haru be back by then? It’s been several months and he still hasn’t returned. Whenever Yufumi asks, Ryu gives her a vague answer. “I don’t know,” he always tells her with the gentlest smile. “He works far away and his hours are unpredictable. If you want, Yufumi, you can write him a letter, and we can send it to him. He really likes those.”

Since then, she’s been writing letters every few days. There’s plenty of cute stationery in the drawer of her desk along with an assortment of delicate mechanical pencils, and while Yufumi isn’t sure why Ryu even has all of this, she’s hesitant to ask. Some of the pencils look lovingly used, and are adorned with cute cat and rabbit charms.

Yufumi peers out the window of her room. Snowflakes are beginning to flutter down from the sky.

 _Haru-oniichan_ , she writes. _Are you well? Today, it is snowing. Ryu-oniichan said we will go to the park someday._

She makes sure to count the strokes of her pencil like her teacher had taught her. The kanji of Ryu’s name comes out shaky and messy, which disappoints Yufumi, but Ryu had only taught her how to write both her own and his name yesterday. She wonders if her writing will look as beautiful as his in the future—thin, neat and well-proportioned. Every time she asks him that, Ryu only smiles and reassures her that it will.

 _I might make a snow cat tomorrow,_ Yufumi continues. It’s getting harder to put her thoughts into words. Would Haru want to hear about her day? He’s so busy at work... _It will look like Eyebrows. He is very big and fluffy now. I want to make a snowman that looks like you, too. I wish you were here to make it with me._

_I miss you, Haru-oniichan. I hope you come home soon._

_Yufumi._

She folds and slides her letter into a small envelope with Haru’s name on it. Ryu is in the kitchen, making dinner for the night. “You’ve finished?” he asks Yufumi, who shows him. “Good. I’ll take it with me and send it before work.”

“Okay... Thank you, Onii-chan.” Shy and grateful, Yufumi bows her head as Ryu reaches out to pat her encouragingly. 

“We’re buying groceries tomorrow, too. Don’t stay up too late tonight.”

It’s a Saturday today, and that means Ryu will be at work until very early in the morning. The daycare isn’t open on weekends, either, and Yufumi will be at home alone with Eyebrows. While Yufumi’s grown accustomed to being by herself Saturday nights, she still wishes she could spend more time with Ryu. His apartment is much bigger than what she’s used to. At the very least, she has Eyebrows to keep her company with his new tricks, courtesy of Ryu’s stern training.

“I’m leaving now, Yufumi.”

“Okay. Take care, Onii-chan!”

Ryu heads out the door with the letter to Haru in his coat. Yufumi hopes Haru will reply soon.

\---

It’s Sunday morning. The commercial streets are bustling with people despite the snow. Yufumi hums a little tune as she and Ryu make their way to the supermarket, holding hands. Grocery shopping is always a learning opportunity for her. Last time, Ryu showed her how to pick the sweetest apples based on their colors and gradients. “The kind of apple you should buy also depends on when you want to eat it,” he warned her. “If it’s too ripe and you don’t finish it in the first few days, they’ll ferment and become too soft.”

He might be stern, but he also praises her for any good choices she makes. Yufumi takes his advice to heart. She likes it when Ryu teaches her things, and hopes she’ll grow up to be as smart as him.

Yufumi snaps out of her reminiscing when Ryu suddenly turns toward the entrance of the store they don’t normally use and quickly leads her to the automated doors. He’s frowning.

“Onii-chan?”

“It’s nothing, Yufumi.” He gives her the calm, reassuring smile that never fails to soothe her worries. “Let’s head inside. Do you want to look at fruits first?”

The last few words don’t quite make it to Yufumi’s ears. A woman passes by behind Ryu, heels clicking against the pavement and the familiar tones of citrus and freesia mixed with coffee wafting past Yufumi’s nose. It’s a scent she often smells in her bittersweet dreams, and one she desperately wished she could smell again. Yufumi can’t stop her voice from coming out.

“M-Mom...?”

The woman turns around, five feet away, and Yufumi’s breath hitches. It’s her. Taeko’s face is mottled with red splotches near her nose and eyes, and Yufumi doesn’t remember a time when her mother’s clothes were all black like today, but it’s clearly her, right down to the look of irritation that soon settles into resigned familiarity.

“Oh, it’s you,” Taeko mutters half-heartedly, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief. Every fiber in Yufumi’s tiny body wants to reach out, embrace her with all her might and wipe away her tears like she used to on terrible days. In the past, if she had done that, Taeko would have either hugged her close in gratitude or slapped her away. Not that Yufumi minded--she still doesn’t. She’d do anything to make her mother smile again.

But things are different now, and uncertainty has taken residence inside her heart. Yufumi squeezes Ryu’s hand shakily, and he, in turn, squeezes back. 

Taeko’s gaze drifts to their joined hands before immediately settling on Ryu for a few seconds. She tucks her hair behind her left ear. “So you’re the one taking care of my daughter,” she mumbles. “Thank you. I heard about you from my mother. ... There’s something I need to say. ”

The iciness in Ryu’s voice does not escape Yufumi’s notice. His voice is not as soft as it is when he usually speaks to the women in their apartment complex, and deep down, she understands why, even if the reason saddens her. “I’m afraid Yufumi and I have other matters to attend to,” Ryu says. He makes a move to excuse himself and lead the young girl away, but Taeko is quick to interrupt.

“It’s important. It’s about her grandmother.”

 _Grandma_. Yufumi’s heart sinks. It must be bad news if her mother is out here, crying. Yufumi tilts her head up toward Ryu, timidly seeking approval. “Onii-chan?” Yufumi whispers. Ryu frowns, but she keeps her eyes on him, hoping he will reconsider. “Is it okay...?”

After what seems like an eternity, Ryu sighs and acquiesces. He is always weak to her pleading.

Taeko leads them to a fancy coffee shop by Kanamecho Station, one Yufumi faintly recognizes. She’s been here before in the past. The smell of coffee and hot sandwiches causes her stomach to growl, despite having had lunch before she and Ryu left home. Ryu notices immediately and orders her a small muffin. They all sit at a table by the windows with a good view of the snowflakes fluttering from the sky.

“Her grandmother passed away last week from multiple organ failures,” she informs Ryu. “I came back from her funeral this morning.” 

Yufumi’s seen funerals in movies, back when the TV didn’t just show static and noise in Taeko’s apartment. She knows she’ll never see her grandmother again. Her cooking, her hugs, her stories... gone. Yufumi’s shoulders tremble. Ryu gently pulls her into his side, and she buries her face into his sweater to cry. 

Taeko is busy looking into her cup of mocha and pays no mind to Yufumi’s distress. “I didn’t know things got so bad with my mother until the doctors at the hospital phoned me," she muses. "I was so absorbed in my own problems, I didn't realize I didn't have much time to spend with her. I’m glad I did, though. Family is important."

The entire time, Ryu’s body language hasn’t changed. He offers neither condolences nor contribution to the conversation, and the neutral expression on his face hasn’t moved. Taeko peers up at him, fiddling with her left hand, and continues. "A month ago, my mother told me about a handsome man with glasses who came to visit her on my behalf. I was so busy with work and I wasn't able to be a proper mother to my own kid. I... I had to give her up, for her sake, and once things were better, I would've come back for her. It was so difficult being a single mother, but her happiness is all I care about."

Her words feel gritty in Yufumi's head, although she doesn't know why. She knows she should be happy her mother is thinking of her, but something is clearly wrong with what she’s saying. Ryu visited her grandmother? Was her mother really busy with work? Did she really love her, after all? The more Taeko speaks, the less Yufumi’s rattled mind understands.

"I want a chance to prove myself," Taeko says. She bows humbly, but her gaze lingers on Ryu. "I think she would be glad to have us as a family again, but... this time, it'd be forever. Wouldn't it be easier on you if she had the two of us in her life? She’s difficult to raise, after all."

"I have no such concerns." Ryu's reply is short. "There is nothing difficult about raising Yufumi." He stands up from his chair, and Yufumi's legs move on their own to follow despite her hesitance. "While I'm thankful for the news about her grandmother, Yufumi is doing just fine. Unfortunately, we have prior matters to attend to and will be leaving."

Taeko opens her mouth to protest, but Ryu is quick to excuse himself and his adopted daughter from the table. Yufumi steals one last look at her mother just before she steps past the door’s threshold and into the snow.

The boiling frustration in Taeko’s eyes is aimed straight at her.

When they begin their second trek toward the supermarket, Ryu suddenly stops. "How are you feeling, Yufumi?"

Shame floods her when the name of that awful heaviness escapes her, but she tries to articulate it as best as she can. "... I... I miss Mom." Yufumi clutches Ryu's hand tighter. "I don't understand, Onii-chan. Mom said... she said she cares. Does she miss me after all?"

Ryu doesn't answer her immediately, but Yufumi knows he can’t lie about something like this, and that he's preparing her for the awful truth. He looks past her and into the train station with a solemn expression. He’s watching several families enter and leave together, laughing and chatting.

“I don’t think so. She didn’t speak to you at all the entire time we were there.”

Although Yufumi expects this, hearing Ryu confirm her doubts doesn’t make it any better. Her chest throbs and aches. “Oh.”

"Were you thinking of having her live with us?"

That question gives her pause. The word “yes” is already on the tip of her tongue and it also somehow feels viscerally _wrong_ for her to say. Yufumi misses her mother so much. That is something she is completely sure of, but the idea of Taeko moving into their home and joining their little family is discomforting. It reminds her of a time when she tried to play hide-and-seek in the closet of Taeko’s apartment. She could barely fit inside and close the door with all of the bags of new clothes piled up. Yufumi wonders if her mother remembered to take them with her after she left that place. _Maybe Onii-chan could remind her, if they lived together,_ she thinks. _But he seems angry at Mom. What if he doesn’t want her to live with us? What if Eyebrows doesn’t like her? What if...?_

In the end, it’s not up to her to make those decisions. What she wants is irrelevant, and she isn’t even sure if what she wants is correct. “... I don’t know, Onii-chan,” Yufumi whispers. “Can she?”

Ryu sighs. “It wouldn’t be in your best interest. It’d only cause more problems.”

Yufumi understands and nods. Ryu strokes her head apologetically, and it soothes her, but only a little bit. She wonders if her grandmother would have liked to live with them, too, but the thought only causes her mood to sink even further.

They come home with groceries two hours later, much to Eyebrows' joy. He leaps into Yufumi's arms and purrs when she snuggles him. "I missed you, Eyebrows," Yufumi murmurs. The cat chirps and presses his forehead against her chin. It is about time for their nap, and she's finished washing her face and hands and changing her clothes.

Curling up into her blankets with Eyebrows against her face, Yufumi wonders why the thought of her mother living with her and Ryu felt so strange before drifting off.

\---

At school on Monday, the teacher calls Yufumi over to her desk after lunch.

Kitagawa is kind and cheerful, and a great match with most of the kids. Her chattiness unnerved Yufumi at first, but she’s slowly getting used to her constant barrage of questions. She’s never been called up before, and Yufumi only expects the worst when she walks to her desk. “Did I do something wrong, Kitagawa-sensei?” she asks nervously. She’s certain she tidied up after all of her activities, and she made sure she ate everything in the lunch Ryu packed for her.

“Oh, no, Yufumi-chan, it’s okay!” Kitagawa reassures her. “Your mom is here to pick you up.”

The surprise and joy spread across her face in an instant. Kitagawa leads her to the teachers’ office, where Taeko stands outside the door. Her face is full of makeup, and she looks as beautiful as she remembers. 

Yufumi’s smile grows wider when Taeko crouches down and opens her arms. She runs straight into them, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck in a big hug.

“Thank you for taking care of my daughter,” Taeko says to Kitagawa. Yufumi lets go of her and bows. She should remember her manners, even if she’s excited.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!" Kitagawa laughs. "You know, it’s always Mr. Kurosawa picking her up from school, and I always thought he was a single dad, since I never see him with a ring on. I was so surprised to find out you’re Yufumi’s mother! She looks just like you, but I can definitely see a bit of your husband!”

“Oh, he’s a private man. He’s always focused on work and our daughter. I’m usually just at home, minding the house. He even forgot to tell me which class she was in.” Taeko is all smiles and sweetness, petting Yufumi’s head affectionately. “But today, Yufumi has a doctor’s appointment, and so I’m taking her there instead of my husband. She should be back before the end of the day.”

Husband? Doctor’s appointment? Ryu never told her any of this. Confusion sets in once more. “Mom,” Yufumi asks worriedly, “when did you marry Onii-chan?”

Taeko freezes for a split second before she laughs and puts her hand over Yufumi’s mouth. “That’s _Papa_ , not Onii-chan! Goodness, you never remember.” She immediately turns to Kitagawa. “Please forgive my daughter. She says strange things all the time.”

“That’s no problem!” Kitagawa laughs. “I’m used to her talking about her imaginary friend in her stories all the time, anyway. That’s just how kids are.”

Yufumi's eyes bounce back and forth between the two women in uncertainty. As Taeko bids her teacher goodbye and grabs her hand, the gym teacher, Hayashi, walks into the room. “Oh! Sorry, almost ran into you there,” he says.

Taeko nods hurriedly. “Hello! We’ll be leaving now.” Yufumi bows out of reflex, and Hayashi ruffles her hair as she’s pulled away.

She can hear his voice getting quieter as they move further away. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s Mr. Kurosawa's wife!” Kitagawa cuts in. “Yufumi’s got a doctor’s appointment she needs to go to. This is the first time we’re seeing her...”

“Mr. Kurosawa has a what?” The last thing Yufumi sees before she and Taeko turn a corner is Hayashi’s bewildered expression. 

There’s about an inch of snow on the ground. Yufumi’s boots crunch against it as her mother guides her away from the school. Taeko’s hand is warm, and although they haven’t spoken a word since they passed the gates, Yufumi can’t help but feel comfortable. Her mother held her hand like this in the past when they were going to places like department stores together. They were happy back then, she thinks. Could they be happy together now?

Taeko lets go of her hand when they reach a large park, deserted of any people. Yufumi blinks. "Mom? Why are we here?"

“Can you just shut up for once?” Taeko mutters, The smile on Yufumi’s face falls in an instant. “You embarrassed me back there. What if they figured it out and stopped me? I spent all day planning for this!”

“I-I’m sorry, Mom,” Yufumi whispers, but nothing is making sense. Why are they at the park? “But... the doctor...”

Her mother exhales in annoyance. _I made her angry again_ , Yufumi thinks sorrowfully. But where did she go wrong this time?

“Does this look like a doctor’s office? Why would I take you to one?”

Yufumi deflates more. The appointment must have been a lie, but for what reason? Taeko sips at her coffee. She looks much thinner than Yufumi remembers, and her immaculate, expensive clothes look a bit too large for her now. Has she been eating and sleeping enough?

"What's that man like?" Taeko asks suddenly. The shift in conversation rattles the little girl even more, and when she doesn't answer, Taeko pushes further, annoyed. "The guy you're staying with. What kind of man is Kurosawa?"

Yufumi doesn't understand the sudden jump in topics. Regardless, she obeys because that is what good children do to make their mothers happy. "U-Um... Onii-chan seems scary at first, but he’s nice. He cooks yummy food and knows how to sew... He said he will teach me how to do that when I’m older.”

The impatient click of Taeko’s tongue causes Yufumi to stumble on her words. She’s never been good at figuring out what her mother wants, and she’s certain the more she talks, the more she’s messing up somehow. There’s an unsettling sensation in Yufumi’s head when she thinks about asking her, almost like something’s tugging insistently at her, but she tries to ignore it in favor of offering countless suggestions, anything to stave off the feeling. “Onii-chan... H-He’s good at piano! He plays while I sing along. He said he’ll get me a pianica next year if I want to play with—”

“Piano, huh.” There’s finally something of a smile on Taeko’s face as she puts her coffee down on the bench. Yufumi shakily follows suit, hoping she’ll continue to please her, but the next question only serves to dash her hopes. “Does he have a lot of money?” 

“I... I don’t know...”

“Why did I even bother asking you... Well, if he’s got a piano at his place, he must be rich.” Taeko crouches down to meet her at eye-level. Yufumi shrinks back at the intensity in her stare, but she’s starting to notice the dark circles under her heavy makeup. “I need you to do something for me, okay, Yufumi?”

“Mom?”

“Tell Kurosawa,” Taeko says slowly, resting her manicured hands on her child’s shoulders, “that you miss me and want me to live with you. Tell him it would make you really, really happy.”

The tugging sensation in Yufumi’s head grows more intense and frantic. Her heart pounds not with elation, but with something much heavier as her mother continues to speak. “I lost my job because the men who were looking for me made a big stink about it. Do you know how hard it is to find a good job now, thanks to you? I’m getting older and I don't feel beautiful. What man would want me now?”

Yufumi whimpers. She can feel the acrylic fingernails digging into her skin through her coat. “I didn’t mean to. I-I’m sorry.”

“That’s why you have to tell Kurosawa,” Taeko hisses insistently. “He likes you. God knows why, since you’re creepy as hell, but if you tell him you want a mom and a dad, we can get married. You can have both me and him, and I won’t have to suffer anymore. You still love me, don’t you? And you want me to be happy and live with you, right?”

 _Do I want Mom to live with me?_ Yufumi wonders. She’s spent hours thinking, and even now, she’s unsure, but this time, she knows it’s not just because of her own feelings. She knows for certain Ryu won’t marry her mother, even if it’s for Yufumi’s sake, and she knows exactly why. It’s the reason why she sets out that large gray hoodie in Eyebrows’ basket every night for him to curl and breathe into. It's why she writes so many letters every few days, hoping for an answer or a phone call.

“O-Onii-chan won’t get married. We're still waiting for Haru—”

"Oh, of _course_ he has a woman already!" Taeko curses and stands up. Her fists are clenched so tightly, her knuckles are as white as the snow around them. Since when did it stop falling? "It must be nice living so comfortably with a full family, huh?"

Yufumi shrinks back immediately, much to Taeko's displeasure. "What?" her mother snaps. "You think you're too good for me, now that you’ve got another mom and a dad? Just who did you think gave birth to you?!"

Taeko's hand lurches out to grab her arm, and, almost as if a light switch goes off in her brain at the same time, Yufumi remembers the names of those painful tugging sensations.

Anguish. Terror. Feelings she never wanted to remember.

Her mother’s hold on her tiny wrist is even more vicious than she remembers it to be. Yufumi’s limbs are like stone, locked and fused, and she can't bring herself to pull away. She only stares at Taeko and the scowl marring her features.

"It's just not fucking fair!" her mother breathes. Her eyes are wet with tears that soon mix into her mascara and eyeliner. "Do you have any idea, _any fucking idea_ , how hard it is to build a family? You ruined my chance to start over. No one wants to marry a woman who already has a kid! When I got rid of you, I thought I could finally find someone. But now I have no man and no job. My mom was the only one who cared about me, but now she’s dead, and to top it all off, I learn _you_ are having a better life than me!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Mom—"

Taeko's mocking voice increases in volume. "' _I'm sorry, I'm sorry!'_ That's all you can ever fucking say! You ruined my life! I'm the one who was supposed to be happy! Not you!"

There's a hot, searing pain in Yufumi's left cheek followed by a dull, radiating ache, and it's with absolute despair that she realizes her mother has slapped her. She touches her cheek with cold fingertips and watches them come back with specks of blood. Taeko’s nails must have cut her face. She can't stop the tears from dripping out, and her throat gurgles, trying to hold back a sob.

The sight of Yufumi’s misery only drives her mother into a deeper rage. "Why are you the one everyone feels sorry for?!" Taeko shrieks, striking the little girl once more for good measure. The sound echoes in the park, but no one is around to hear it. "You don't even have anything to offer! All you do is eat, shit, sleep and be a nuisance! You're not even supposed to exist, so why do you get to live with a nice man in a nice home?! Why not _me_?!"

_“You can’t even clean a dish properly! What are you even good for?!”_

_“Stop asking! Does it look like we have that kind of money?”_

_"Why are you talking to yourself like some kind of freak? Do you want to embarrass me? There's no one there!"_

_“I never wanted to be a mother! I only wanted him!”_

Although Taeko continues her physical and verbal assault, Yufumi's mind can barely register them. She's watching from afar, somehow, and pulling all the emotional scars from her heart into view like scattered pieces of a dusty, worn puzzle. She remembers having her pigtails yanked and pulled like a leash, being shoved into tables hard enough to bruise, countless nights of having insults hurled at her. She remembers the boiling hot summer when she was left in the apartment alone for days with only small ghosts and cockroaches as company, forever hungry and thirsty. She remembers sneaking into the bar and hearing Taeko’s hatred on the phone, refusing to come back and be a parent. The sensation of dread, like being dunked into ice. The look on everyone's face when they realized she was there behind the office door, eavesdropping.

_A setting sun. Her face buried into a red T-shirt. A young man’s long black hair tickling her face as he carried her like she was something precious._

_“Squirt," Haru said, "what do you want to do?”_

_A hug that felt so warm and strong. Supportive and loving._

At once, she blinks back into the present, and Yufumi’s voice, long since trained to remain caged and hesitant in her throat, escapes.

“Let go of me! I want to go home!”

The shrillness of her cry startles Taeko, but she grits her teeth and squeezes Yufumi’s wrist so hard, she feels it might break. "Shut _up!_ Shut up, shut up, _shut up!_ " Taeko screeches, nailing her with a fist that makes Yufumi's vision flash and spin. "You're a stain on my life! If you don't shut up right now, I swear, I will make sure you get run over by a car this instant!"

"P-Please, Mom, stop it! Let go!"

" _Shut the hell up!_ That’s _it!_ "

Taeko grabs her coffee and begins to drag her out of the park. Yufumi digs her feet into the snow, panicking and hoping they'll anchor her there, but a six-year-old’s strength can never outmatch an adult’s. The park entrance comes into view, and fear consumes her. A car drives by at startling speeds, faster than she's ever seen them go. Or maybe they always went this fast, and she never noticed.

Where is Ryu? Yufumi is sure he doesn't know where she is at this moment. He is probably at work, unaware of what's going to happen to her. Would he even believe her, if he were to stumble upon them right now? Would anyone believe a bad child like her?

_"We're just talking about what you want to do."_

Spurred on by an invisible force, Yufumi shuts her eyes and screams as loud as she can, and hopes, and hopes, and hopes.

" _Onii-chan!_ "

The crows in the trees that haven't left yet for the winter begin to echo her cries with fervor, summoned by her pain. A few begin to flap their wings with fury and dive at Taeko's head.

"You _little shit!_ " Yufumi can hear her mother snarl and attempt to dodge the crows to no avail. The remaining birds fly into the sky to circle them menacingly, but that is not enough to stop Taeko from hauling Yufumi even faster.

“Onii-chan! Help me, _Onii-chaaaaan!_ ”

She can see Taeko's right heel make it past the entrance, and begins to fear for her life.

“ _Get your hands off her!”_

Everything seems to happen in a blur of noise and sudden movement, and when Yufumi is finally able to make sense of her surroundings some time later, the pressure on her wrist has vanished and she is trembling in Ryu’s arms. Her neck creaks in protest when she looks up at his face. “I’m here,” Ryu tells her, holding her tight as her sobs finally flow out of her throat. “You’re okay, Yufumi. I’m here.”

“O-Onii-chan...”

In the distance, she can hear Taeko and another man yelling at each other. It almost sounds like the exact same fight as the one in the summer phone call, with the exact same voices.

Taeko’s indignant screech. “You again? Are you some kind of sick stalker?! Why do you keep showing up to ruin everything?! Leave me alone!” 

The man’s voice is equally aggressive. From far away, Yufumi thinks his brown hair looks familiar. “You’re a monster! You’re not even her mother anymore and you’re _still_ trying to hurt her! What is wrong with you?! How did you even find her school?!”

“Why is it always _her?!_ Who gives a damn about the kid?!”

“People like you disgust me! The police are already looking for you!”

Ryu pays them no mind, too busy inspecting her cheek, and although most of his expression doesn’t change, Yufumi is almost terrified at the sight of his eyes. There’s something dark blazing inside them, a flame that can both freeze and burn everything into nothingness. She’s never seen him this way before, and it scares her. She made Ryu like this. The realization scorches her mind and sends her thoughts into complete disarray. “I’m s-s-sorry...” Yufumi squeaks, tears pouring down her cheeks and making her wound sting. “I’m sorry, Onii-chan... Please... don’t be mad at m-me...”

The anger in his eyes is quickly masked at her words. Ryu gently strokes her other cheek and brushes away her tears. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he murmurs. “I’m not mad at you, Yufumi. You did nothing wrong.” He releases Yufumi from his embrace and stands slowly. 

“Akiyama. Stay with her for a bit.”

The brown-haired man clenches his teeth, but rips his gaze from Taeko and heads back to where they are. Yufumi startles the instant she notices Ryu moving toward her mother, but the other man takes her hand. His touch is light and soothing, and his face is full of empathy and worry. “Hi, Yufumi,” he whispers gently, as if she’d break if he speaks any louder. “I’m Hiroyuki. Do you remember me? I work at the bar with Mr. Ryu.”

Yufumi remembers him. Muscle memory forces her to bow automatically, but the man scrambles to hold her upright with an “ah, no, no, it’s okay” jetting out from his lips. Still, her eyes are glued to Ryu’s back as he makes his way to her mother. He stands tall, and although she cannot see his face, Yufumi can’t help but think he resembles the wolves she sees on TV, going in for the kill.

“Mom...”

Hiroyuki squeezes her hand, and she’s not sure if it’s to comfort or keep her from running after them. They can both only watch.

“I don’t care about your reasons for doing this,” Ryu informs Taeko coldly. Taeko takes a step back, no longer caring to hide her resentment any longer. “I’m not interested in your life story, either. All I know is that you kidnapped and laid a hand on my daughter, which are serious crimes. Either you tell me how you figured out which school was hers, or you can stay here and wait for the police.”

“Your _daughter_?” Taeko scoffs harshly. "All she does is steal people’s happiness. It would be better if she was dead.” This is not the first time Yufumi’s heard this, but it still pierces her heart anyway. Hiroyuki looks as if he’s barely able to contain his rage at her words, and squeezes Yufumi close, as if to compensate. 

Taeko wipes angrily at her face with her free hand. Her mascara is smudged. “It's so fucking unfair! I just want to live my dreams, but that _thing_ keeps ruining everything!" Ryu says nothing, which she takes as an opportunity to grieve even louder. "I have to work my ass off, day after day, and I get nothing! She just exists and gets a rich man handed to her on a silver plate! Why are you so interested in a brat like her? What are you, some kind of perv—?!"

“Answer the question.” Ryu snaps, irritated, as if what he just heard was completely insignificant and worthless. “I didn’t ask for the opinion of a woman who views her own child that way.”

Taeko’s face warps in an instant, and she throws the hot cup of coffee with all her strength at Ryu before storming out of the park.

“ _Onii-chan!_ ”

“Mr. Ryu!” Hiroyuki yells, lips curled into a grimace. Yufumi has already wiggled out of his arms, tripping over her own feet in the snow to reach Ryu. Hiroyuki runs toward them in just as much panic, surveying the damage. “Mr. Ryu, are you alright? I’ll track her down!”

“Forget about it. We’re heading back to sótano,” Ryu orders. “Call Mr. Inui as soon as we get there.” He shrugs off his coat immediately, sighing in annoyance at the soggy stain on the fabric. Yufumi muffles a sob. Some of the hot coffee has seeped into his shirt. 

“Onii-chan, your shoulder...” 

Ryu holds out his hand to her, his expression gentle.

“Let’s go, Yufumi," he says. Yufumi sniffles and slides her hand into his. "You’re not going back to school today.”

They take a taxi to sótano. The bar is still spotless and comforting as it was in the summer. Ryu immediately heads to the office, presumably to change out of his shirt and assess his burn, while Hiroyuki sits Yufumi down on the sofa at the far end of the bar. "Are you hungry, Yufumi?" Hiroyuki asks her kindly. "I could make you something to eat once I'm finished making the calls."

Yufumi shakes her head. Much to her surprise, Ryu returns quickly, shirt unbuttoned and with a cold cloth on his shoulder. He has another cloth in his hand, which he uses to gently pat the blood away from Yufumi's wounded cheek. It stings slightly, but the warmth of the towel is much welcomed. Yufumi tenses, not wanting to make a sound. "It's not a large scratch," Ryu murmurs, inspecting it carefully. "It should heal soon." Nevertheless, he makes one more trip past the kitchen and comes back with some ointment and a bandage, which he applies to her wound.

"Thank you, Onii-chan..."

Ryu nods and offers her a small smile. Hiroyuki has moved to the office in the meanwhile, and she can hear him through the open doors, talking to someone on the phone. "Yufumi, what happened at the park?"

Yufumi hangs her head. She can feel her eyes beginning to water again. "Mom... She wanted to know more about you. She wanted us to be a family, but told me to tell you."

"Did she say anything else?"

"When I said no, and she said I... I... ruined her life..." She doesn't know if she can recount anything at the park without hearing them in her mind again. Yufumi sniffles again, upset at her lack of control. "I-I'm sorry, Onii-chan. It's my fault."

Ryu kneels down. He isn't smiling anymore, but Yufumi knows he doesn't do that very often, anyway. His gaze is loving and soft, not at all like the one he had in the park. "It's not your fault," he insists. "You’ve done nothing wrong." Ryu's eyes move to her cheek, and he mutters, "I should have arrived sooner so you wouldn't have been hurt like this."

 _It's not your fault, either,_ Yufumi wants to say. The fact that he even came to save her in the first place is already enough for her. "Onii-chan, how did you find me?"

"Hayashi-sensei phoned about Taeko picking you up. I suspect she followed us on the train this morning." Ryu is using the same tone of voice he uses when he reads the articles about cats to her in the newspaper, casual and even to neutralize any negative changes in mood. "I didn't allow anyone to pick you up in my place, so police were called about a possible kidnapping. Akiyama went to work early today, and when he heard, he offered to look for you with me. We heard your screams and the crows at the park near your school."

So he did hear her. She stares down at the bar flooring and the reflection of the lights above them in relief that eventually gives way to more anguish. Her tears fall, staining the couch in small, dark spots. "I... I made Mom angry. I don't think she loves me anymore."

Ryu says nothing, but that's all Yufumi needs to know. She buries her face in her hands, weeping and truly motherless, and Ryu wraps his arms around her. His embrace feels like a cocoon, swaddling her with as much love and protection as he can muster, and all she wants to do is sleep and pretend it was all a nightmare.

At some point, she's carried to the office, laid down on the sofa and tucked in. Yufumi can hear Ryu and Hiroyuki talking to someone on speaker, but she's too tired to make out the exact conversation. She shuts her eyes and wills herself to forget.

\---

Yufumi does not go to school the next day. Ryu doesn't go to work, either, although the burn on his shoulder is minor and he doesn’t need to take time off. He spends most of the morning making very harshly-worded phone calls to the school and police after he cooks her breakfast and ties her hair into low pigtails. Eyebrows, concerned about his favorite human, pads over to Yufumi on the bed and presses his face into her's while meowing.

"I'm okay, Eyebrows," Yufumi whispers, scratching his chin. At least, she thinks she’s okay. She should be used to this sort of feeling, even though all she wants to do is bury herself under the covers of her bed.

At some point, Ryu knocks on her room door and opens it. "Yufumi, you have a phone call," he tells her. He holds his cellphone out to her to take. It's on speaker, and she doesn't recognize the phone number on the screen. She hesitantly takes it.

"H-Hello?"

"Good afternoon, Squirt!" a familiar voice sings. Yufumi gasps, and then chokes. "Hm? Are you crying? What's wrong?"

 _Haru_. 

The second Yufumi heard his chipper voice, all of the emotions she tried to bottle up in the morning came flooding out. She nearly drops the phone as she hiccups and fears he might hang up if she doesn't stop, but Haru waits patiently, just as he always does. She misses him. She misses his smile, his laughter, his hugs, his energy, all of it so, so much. Her heart aches, and Yufumi is suddenly very aware of how empty it is without him.

"It's been a while, huh?" Haru muses softly when Yufumi's sniffling lessens. "I guess it's kind of scary when it's been a long time."

"No, n-never," she sobs. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too. Ryu gave me your letter."

Yufumi's almost forgotten, but it catches her attention immediately. They spend a long time pouring over the contents of it together. It's comforting to talk to Haru, how he fills the conversation with thoughts just as vivid and colorful as her own. The trail of tears on Yufumi’s face dry soon after. She talks about Eyebrows and the tricks Ryu's been teaching him, amazing Haru and inspiring him to recount his own. "There was one he used to do when I first met him," Haru muses. Yufumi can almost hear the gears turning in his brain, but she knows how faulty his memory is. "... What was it again? Oh, well. Ryu might know what it was."

Yufumi giggles. "Ryu-oniichan said he can sneeze when you tell him to!"

"Ohhh, that's right!"

The sing-song noises Haru makes when he’s thinking are soothing. They make Yufumi forget the cold of winter and pretend he’s sitting right beside her at this moment. He _could_ be right beside her, but he’s not, and she can feel her smile starting to crumble again when the events of yesterday come creeping back into her mind. 

Her grandmother is gone. Her mother truly hates her. Haru isn’t here. All she has is Ryu. What would happen to her if he suddenly vanished from her life, too? She doesn’t want to think about it. She refuses to voice it.

But Haru can tell. He always can. “What’s on your mind?”

Haru has always been honest with her, and with his gentle insistence, she tells him everything through her tears about her grandmother. About the incident with Taeko at the coffee shop and the park. About the crows, Ryu and Hiroyuki saving her. Most of her story is riddled with hiccups and sobs, but Haru listens intently. He makes affirming noises every now and then without judgement or pity, something Yufumi finds relieving. It feels less like she’s recounting something shameful to an adult and more like confiding in a friend.

The one thing about Haru she’s still not quite used to is his directness. “So... Is there anything you want to do?”

Yufumi swallows nervously. “What I... want to do?”

“Yeah. I know Ryu will never abandon you, but you can’t live with your mom and grandma anymore. What are you going to do about your dream?”

Her dream, shattered and ground to dust. Yufumi wilts at the painful thudding inside her. "I don't know."

"We've always got two choices, right? What would make you happy from now on?"

There's Haru's thoughtfulness again. Strangely enough, not having an answer for him doesn't make her feel ashamed. In fact, he takes the opportunity to help sort out the debris in her mind and give her clarity.

Two choices. What does she want to do right now and in the future? Yufumi closes her eyes and thinks. 

Yufumi wants to open her eyes in the morning and see Ryu cooking and Haru doing his stretches. She wants to sit at the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with both men and Eyebrows sitting with her. She wants to hold their hands as they explore the city and go shopping together, giggle at Haru’s antics and Ryu scolding him. She wants to teach Haru all of the songs she learned at daycare and sing with him while Ryu plays the piano. She wants Ryu to teach her how to hold a knife and hang laundry, and Haru to teach her how to vacuum the home. She wants to sleep in the same room as them and wake in the middle of the night to Haru’s snoring and Ryu’s even breathing.

Maybe this is what she wants her new dream to be.

“I... I want something else,” Yufumi says with all her heart. “I want to live with you, Ryu-oniichan and Eyebrows. I want us to be a family forever. There’s so much I want to do with you.”

"That's a great dream." It's hard to ignore the joy settling in Haru's voice. He must be happy to hear that, and it reassures Yufumi that she made the right decision.

“Onii-chan, what about yours?”

“Mine? Hmm...” Haru laughs. “I don’t know if it can come true.”

“Th-That’s okay,” Yufumi says quickly. “I just... I just want to know what you want.”

“This sounds kind of familiar... Is this what they call ‘turning the tables’?”

Yufumi isn't sure what he means, but now that he mentions it, she vaguely remembers something similar happening that fateful summer, days after they first met.

“It’d be nice if I could go to the pool with you and Ryu. Or eat corn-on-the-cob on the beach...” Haru sighs on the other end. Yufumi can hear a car honking in the distance on his end of the call. Is he outside? She doesn’t want to ask, too afraid she might never learn the full extent of Haru’s wish if she interrupts. “I want to go see the fireworks with everyone again. I want to try holding Ryu’s hand, too, but he probably won’t like that.”

That’s it. It’s a simple dream. Too simple compared to her own dreams, and easily fulfilled if he could just ask Ryu. Yufumi wonders why he thinks it won’t come true. 

“I... I want to do that with you, too,” Yufumi says. She lowers her voice to a whisper so only he can hear her. “Ryu-oniichan, too. He’s waiting for you. I think he'll hold your hand if you come home.”

“He will? Hehehe... That makes me—oh, hold on a sec.” Haru must have put the phone down because his voice sounds further away. He’s talking to someone nearby. “Ehhh? Already?” His pout is almost audible. The man with Haru says something her ears can’t quite decipher, but she knows it must be time to end the call. Yufumi doesn’t want to say goodbye.

“I have to go,” Haru murmurs, disappointed. “I’ve got work to finish.”

Yufumi knows better than to ask when he’ll finish and come home. Ryu sidesteps the topic all the time, but she’s not dense. She knows it will be a long while until she can see Haru again. She doesn’t even know when they’ll be able to talk on the phone again. It could be another few months. Years, maybe. She doesn’t want to even entertain the possibility of never speaking to him again. Heat pools behind her eyes, and this time, she’s quick to rub the tears away. She doesn’t have to say goodbye if she doesn’t want to, so she won’t.

“Onii-chan,” Yufumi whispers. “I love you. We want you to come home soon.”

“I know.” She hears the promise of the setting summer sun in his voice, beautiful and warm. “See you later, Squirt!”

Yufumi ends the call and basks in its bittersweetness. Ryu walks in a minute later with a glass of water for her. He must have listened and waited until she hung up. “Did it go well?” he asks her anyway. Yufumi nods, accepts the drink gratefully, and leans against Ryu’s side when he goes to sit on the edge of her bed. Her mother used to allow this shy display of affection sometimes, back when she wasn't being screamed at. She’ll never feel her embrace or smell her perfume ever again, and she'll have to live with knowing she was never loved by Taeko.

But things are different now. She has Ryu and Haru, who return those gestures and protect her with everything they have. Right now, there’s only one thing she wants to do to return their love tenfold.

Yufumi takes a deep breath. “Onii-chan? When Haru-oniichan comes home, can we go to the pool and the fireworks festival together?”

“Mm.” Ryu strokes her hair. Even though he’s looking at her, she knows his mind is elsewhere. Maybe he’s imagining the pool, too. “We can.”

The smallest trace of a smile returns to Yufumi’s face. She wants to make her family's dream come true.

  
  



End file.
